20 Days Till Heaven…Day 20 – Welcome Home Katelyn

November 4, 2017 Michael Weese Comments 0 Comment

20 Days Till Heaven…Day 20 – Welcome Home Katelyn

Memories from November 4th, 2016 – Day 20

So here we are…the last day. We fell asleep last night after a rough and tiresome day for all, especially Kate.

I am usually a very deep sleeper. It takes a lot to wake me up. I can sleep through almost anything. This morning however, I heard the sweetest voice utter at a very low volume, the words, “Help me”. It wasn’t in a panic or distress, just a normal, “help me”.

I woke up and looked at the clock on the set top box, it said 3:30am. I got out of bed and walked over to Kate. She was sitting up with her legs off the side of the bed as if she was getting ready to walk somewhere. I asked if she was OK and she nodded yes. She would then mumble what sounded like, “bathroom.” I thought that she needed to go to the bathroom, but then I noticed that she already had a little bit in the bed. It wasn’t a big mess, just a little one.

I said, “Let’s get you cleaned up and back in bed.” She nodded yes again. I changed her clothes and cleaned her up. I told her that I was going to go throw the sheets in the washer. She again nodded yes. I grabbed her and set her on the floor right next to the bed. She rested up against the side of the bed and actually looked comfortable.

I ran the sheets down to the washer, threw them inside, and ran back upstairs.

When I got back upstairs, she was still sitting there. She looked so comfortable and relaxed, I thought maybe we should just sleep here for a while. I grabbed our pillows, and we both stayed there for a few moments. It wasn’t long before I realized how uncomfortable the floor actually was. I said to her, “let’s get back in bed.”

Now understand that I have been helping Kate for months up the stairs, down the stairs, out of her chair, our of the car, and many other things. She always put in some amount of physical effort of her own during these things that I would help her with. This time, however, was the first time that I felt every ounce of her weight in my arms as I tried to lift her. I instantly realized how uncommon this felt. It literally took every bit of might that I had to get her over to my side of the bed which still had sheets on it.

I sat her in bed and laid her down. She was laying flat on a pillow like the rest of us do every night. I have not seen Kate lay down in almost a year. She wasn’t coughing or panicking like she would any other time that she had attempted this.

I realized that she was breathing differently. She didn’t have the labored breathing anymore that I was used to watching her do the past few days. She was now gasping for air. She was not responding to me either.

Now I have always had this theory that the last thing to go when you pass away is your hearing. Don’t ask me why, its just what I have always thought.

My instinct told me to stop what I was doing and run into the boys room. I grabbed Pierce and ran him in to see his mother. I told him to say I love you. I made him give her a hug and a kiss. I ran back into their room and tossed him back in bed. I then grabbed Grantley and ran him in to see his mother as well. I also told him to say I love you. I made him give her a hug and a kiss as well. I ran back in and tossed him back in his crib. The craziest part of all of this was how alert they both were after having me essentially rip them out of bed. I would have expected some amount of grogginess, but they were not at all. They had no idea why they were doing this, but it doesn’t matter. They will know one day. I just hope that she heard them and my theory was right.

I ran back into our room and she was still gasping, but only for a few more seconds. I just sat there saying I love you and kissing her. Then it stopped. There was nothing. It was over. Kate had just earned her wings.

There wasn’t another soul on earth that was more deserving at that moment on that night.

I asked my mother to stay last night and watch the kids because I thought that it was going to be a bad night, but I wasn’t expecting this. She was there so she was the first to know what was going on. I don’t remember which one of us called the nurse to notify them, but they came after a while and confirmed everything. I guess its procedure.

Kate’s family was also on the way because I had called them and told them. I called Regan’s mother and asked that they come as well. I needed to make sure that her family had the chance to say goodbye. I even asked the funeral home to wait a couple of hours so that this would be possible.

When other people had arrived at the house I took my opportunity to step outback and take a breath. It was peaceful and dark. The outback of our house is a yard that leads into a field and woods. You can’t see a thing when the sun is not up.

I looked up in the sky and said, “It doesn’t have to be now or anytime soon, but please let me know one day that you are OK.” The moment that I finished the last syllable of my sentence the neighbor to the left had turned on his kitchen light which illuminated the entire woods in the back. I know this light was induced by a human, but the fact that it happened at that moment that I finished my sentence was good enough for me. I don’t care how stupid it sounds, it’s all that I needed at the time.

The funeral home came, did what they normally do, and put her in the van to take her away.

Now this next part may sound strange, but I got in my car and followed them. Kate and I used to say how much we hated being away from each other. One night when we were talking about it she said something and I told her that I was going to stay with her until she came back home. She said, “Do you promise? I said, “Yeah.” So I followed them and sat in the parking lot of the funeral home in my car.

The pastor was coming over for a quick service with everyone in our family. I told her I would be right back as if she was listening and came home for the service. When it was over I went right back to the funeral home and sat in the parking lot in my car again.

So for the rest of the night I sat there. My friend Rachel had come and brought me some food, and we talked for a while. A few others that found out I was there offered to stop by, but I declined at the time. Later in the night my cousin had driven from a couple of hours away just to shoot the breeze. It helped take my mind off of things, and I was very appreciative.

I ended up sleeping in my car and as crazy as it seems, I was glad that I kept the promise. The next two days I had a lot to take care of, but I followed and stayed with her as much as I could. I went back to the other funeral home and even spent some time down at the crematory when I knew she was there. The funeral home director was nice enough to keep me posted on her whereabout.

I know her soul was in heaven, but this is what I wanted to do.

One last thing that I realized over those couple of days was that I was still falling in love with her even more. For the longest time I was so scared of how everything was going to come to a screeching halt when she would pass away. I was scared of the moment when everything would come crashing down. But it didn’t.

I realized that it didn’t because she took the time to tell me all of the things that I needed to hear while she was here. She took the time to leave us with things so that we would still feel her love. She took the time that she didn’t have to make sure we would all be happy.

God bless her.

There is so much more to write about the things that happened after she passed away, but I need to bring this series to an end.

I just want to end it by thanking everyone that took the time to follow along.

I made this video for her, feel free to watch if you would like. It looks best if you go full screen and turn your device sideways.

Song: JJ Grey and Mofro – The Sun Is Shining Down