20 Days Till Heaven…Day 16 – Pumpkin Surprise, Raindrops on Roses, and Trick or Treat Memories

October 31, 2017 Michael Weese Comments 0 Comment

20 Days Till Heaven…Day 16 – Pumpkin Surprise, Raindrops on Roses, and Trick or Treat Memories

Memories from October 31st, 2016 – Day 16

I shared a lot of memories on yesterdays post as far as videos, pictures, and messages go. I didn’t really touch a lot on how things were going with Kate. I just want to share a little bit on how things were going health wise with Kate on this day. A few messages and calls that I left out yesterday revealed that we were thinking about beginning to up the dosage on some of the medicines that she was taking as we were directed to do so if needed.

She wasn’t getting much sleep and her appetite was still pretty low. She did get sick a couple of times and had a headache. Her cough is still getting worse and it is the main reason for the lack of sleep. Exhaustion is starting to kick in, and starting to take its toll. She no longer sleeps when we are used to sleeping, but instead whenever she gets tired. She is having difficulty breathing, but if she can find a comfortable position, she is OK for a little while. She also had begun to use a nebulizer to help when her coughing was bad.

At the time, I was at peace with knowing that she was going to be leaving soon. But, after listening to the calls and reading these messages it seems more clear now than it did then, that I was not ready to let go. Still at peace, but just not ready to say goodbye quite yet. Almost in a sense as if I could have kept extending her presence with us by making sure she takes her pills and eats right. I think I honestly still had hope that if we ate right, took our medicine, and got some good sleep that maybe things would take a turn for the better. All along not realizing and totally oblivious that even if my efforts did prolong her time by a day or even an hour that it wasn’t going to change that she was dying. Nothing I could do would stop that, she had somewhere else to be.

These posts may start to become lengthier, but I want to share the reality of these last few days and everything that we thought and did.

Today was Kate’s favorite holiday, it was Halloween. She always said it was her favorite because she could decorate. She loved to decorate. Not because she was trying to impress anyone or make the cover of House and Garden magazine, but she really just loved doing it.

The day started off with a good morning call. Unfortunately, she told me that she had a headache, but felt better after getting sick. She was also saying good morning to the boys.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

This morning we had a surprise out front when they opened the door. The place that Kate was working at had left the kids a surprise. A bunch of them had made a lot of awesome pumpkins for the kids.

A little while later I would send Kate a message to see how she was. She said that she needed a drink, and I said, “OK what do you want?” I was going to call my mother or Regan to grab something for her. Except she didn’t answer so I called to see what she wanted.

When I called her I was very confused as was she. This was the 1st time that I had realized that sleep and exhaustion were becoming a real issue. Literally within minutes of texting she had no recollection of replying to me or what was going on.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

I called back not much longer to check in again. I was a little scared and nervous from our last conversation, I still had not processed what was going on with her. This call, however, was literally a night and day difference from the last time we spoke not that long ago. She had sent me the above video and just told me that her bath was nice.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

She sent me a text to let me know that she was sending me that video above. It was a pretty awesome video.

We again spoke a little while later on, and I wanted to tell her that I missed her. I asked her how she was feeling in comparison to yesterday. She told me she thought she was feeling better.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

I only have one more call for this day. She had a nurse visit. The nurse told her that her lungs sounded good. Not sure how that was, but it was good news for the day for sure.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

Around lunch time I got this message from her, it’s still one of my favorite ones to look back on from time to time. She would always send the best random messages.

After naptime she sent me this message, she had been sneaking pictures on the Friday that had just passed. I had asked her why she was not sleeping to get some rest. I guess she was just up resting in bed, but no sleeping.

A little time passes and we are about to go trick or treating. As rough as the day started, this was something that she had really wanted to do with the boys. I told her several times that we didn’t have to go. I remember telling her that the boys would be OK. I told her that they were still young and wouldn’t care one way or another if they missed it. The would be just as happy eating the candy that we had to pass out to neighborhood kids.

This is an important moment for me during this process. This would be the first time that I finally told myself that she was getting worse and something was really wrong. I carried her down the stairs and had her scooter set up outside ready to go. She was always quite mobile throughout the house with the exception of the steps. Once she was on any specific floor she did OK with walking. However this time when we reached the bottom of the stairs she needed help getting her coat on and all the way out to her scooter. Again she insisted that she wasn’t going to let it stop her.

Here is a video of us strolling to the houses to go trick or treating. All of the kids are off the side on the sidewalk with Regan’s Mother. I believe this would be our last video and my last video of her as well.

One of the funniest things during this trick or treat trip was Kate’s unexpected costume. She didn’t dress up, but the battery strength LED indicator on her scooter would reflect off of her face when it got dark. We all laughed at it.

Here are a few other pictures from that night.

I found two posts that she made on Facebook this day. The first one thanking our mysterious pumpkin givers.

The second which would also be her last post ever was being gracious that she got to see her babies trick or treat.

Kate would say a few times in the weeks leading up to this how she was looking forward to making memories. This night last year she was able to make another unforgettable one yet again. I do believe this day to be her last day out of the house, but she fought through it and made it worth her while. The kids will be thankful to have had this moment with their Mom one day.

As you live everyday make and collect beautiful moments.

-Mindset Matters

Day 1 – I’LL TRY NOT TO SCARE YOU AND YELLOW CHEESE

Day 2 – DO YOU KISS ME, CO-PAYS, PINTEREST, AND SCANS

Day 3 – I GET TO BE HAPPY NOW, THIS IS A POSITIVE THING

Day 4 – SHARE THE NEWS, HAPPY DWARF, AND PEOPLE ARE AWESOME

Day 5 – FIELD TRIP, DELICIOUS FLOWER BOUQUET, AND LAST PICTURE

Day 6 – DISNEY SMELLS, NURSE, AND SLEEPOVER

Day 7 – CONFESSIONS, CARDS AND JOURNALS

Day 8 – PIGGYBACKS, CHEER SUPPORT, VISITS, AND ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP

Day 9 – SPREADING GERMS, CINNAMON TOAST, AND LILLY PULITZER

Day 10 – IF YOU HAVE A BAD DAY…PRAY