20 Days Till Heaven…Day 10 – If You Have A Bad Day…Pray

October 25, 2017 Michael Weese Comments 0 Comment

20 Days Till Heaven…Day 10 – If You Have A Bad Day…Pray

Memories from October 25th, 2016 – Day 10

Today doesn’t start off on the best note, but it’s not a terrible note either. We don’t get too far into our good morning call before she stops me and interjects. She says that she doesn’t want me to talk about eating today or say anything else about it. She tells me that she is going to have some cereal and take her pain pill.

I respond by telling her that it’s disheartening to hear her say every morning how she feels terrible. I know she may feel terrible because of everything else that is going on, but at the same time the only logical reason to me is that she is not eating much either. Even the doctors and nurses that we call say that she has to at least attempt to eat something of sustenance. We are given more prescriptions to help with her appetite and nausea.

We both apologize, I tell her sorry for trying to push, she says sorry for the rejections. She nicely tells me that she just doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, that she doesn’t want to talk about any of it anymore.

Here is a small audio clip of that call.

I’m somewhat reluctant to agree because I don’t want her to let herself fall apart. I tell her I will try my best not to bring it up and make it an issue. This is that thin line that I was talking about yesterday. What am I supposed to do? What would you do? I do add one more thing and ask her to maybe try some waffles with butter and syrup which I know she likes. She says, “I can try to do that.” We say I love you and hang up.

A little while later she sends me this. That’s all I could ask for.

A little while later we had this exchange. Trying to find a way to let her know, that I know, that today is a rough, but there was still a reason to smile if she could.

She had another visit from the nurse today a little while later. When we talk, she says that they really didn’t do too much other than letting her know about the services that they have to offer such as counseling for the kids and chaplain services.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

Later she also told me that she declined to have them come and help her bathe or get dressed. She told me that she told them that she had her husband to do those things. I remember her telling me that and it made me so happy to hear her say that. I don’t know why, but it really did.

On my way home I called to check in and let her know I was coming, which I always did. I also asked her if she wanted me to grab anything for lunch. It was sad to listen to this, but she really was having a bad day physically.

Here is an audio clip of that call.

We have an attempt at lunch. It goes well.

Later on in the day after dinner, I run to Party City to pick up some supplies for Regan’s Halloween costume. I called her to ask for the list of what I needed to pick up, and we hung up. She sent me a text right after letting me know that I also needed to get spirit gum for the makeup.

A little while later she would ask for some pie. I don’t have proof of this, but I remember getting some pecan and apple pies from Webbers Farm a few days ago. That’s probably what she wanted a piece of.

I also found that she posted this on Facebook that day.

Further proof that this was a rough day. I’m glad she knew which direction to look towards for an easier day tomorrow. Sometimes all you can do is pray.

At this point in the process I’m still learning and experiencing new things every minute of every day. All though we agreed not to talk about it much, I do see her making more of an effort to try to eat and do some things that she is supposed to do.

The most important factor still remains in trying to find the delicate balance between, giving you the love you “want” and giving you the love you “need”.

-Mindset Matters

Day 1 – I’LL TRY NOT TO SCARE YOU AND YELLOW CHEESE

Day 2 – DO YOU KISS ME, CO-PAYS, PINTEREST, AND SCANS

Day 3 – I GET TO BE HAPPY NOW, THIS IS A POSITIVE THING

Day 4 – SHARE THE NEWS, HAPPY DWARF, AND PEOPLE ARE AWESOME

Day 5 – FIELD TRIP, DELICIOUS FLOWER BOUQUET, AND LAST PICTURE

Day 6 – DISNEY SMELLS, NURSE, AND SLEEPOVER

Day 7 – CONFESSIONS, CARDS AND JOURNALS

Day 8 – PIGGYBACKS, CHEER SUPPORT, VISITS, AND ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP

Day 9 – SPREADING GERMS, CINNAMON TOAST, AND LILLY PULITZER

Day 10 – IF YOU HAVE A BAD DAY…PRAY

Day 11 – SETTING THE STAGE, URN EMOJI, AND CHECK YOURSELF